high people should be assigned attendants
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
