Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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