i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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