Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
