My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
