Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
