both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
