is your mom at the bar?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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