haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So here I am, sexting at work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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