somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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