Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
