I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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