We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize