we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
