Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
