the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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