she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize