I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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