I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
did you just send me my own nude
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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