I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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