she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize