i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you will always have a special place in my vag
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize