I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
