Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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