so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
