I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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