Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
