She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
