she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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