I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
