saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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