Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
