I am in a vortex of obligation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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