I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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