I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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