Cold hands, warm shart.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
