Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im having a threesome with these popsicles
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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