I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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