Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
