my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize