so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize