I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
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What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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