Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
