i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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