I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
