i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
