he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
