Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sext me about skeletons
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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