I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize