The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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