On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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