It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
