went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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