community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
