we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
