You just made me feel so damn special
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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