He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
