i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My bed smells like the plague
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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