things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the condom got lost in my hair
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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