you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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